Dawnstar's Trouble -Chapter 12-

Dawnpaw made her way to camp, her paws sinking into the muddy ground. Each step kicked up flecks of water and mud onto her white belly fur. Dawnpaw’s ears twitched with annoyance the closer she got, she hated the rain and she wanted it to stop. The early morning air was bitter and cold, stinging her ear tips. The rain had not subsided in the moon since the apprentice den was flooded.

The water inside turned to mud and hardened, leaving Dawnpaw with the impression that they would not be returning to the apprentice den anytime soon. The outside den still felt too big and empty, but she and the other apprentices were slowly growing accustomed to it. Dawnpaw knew that Willownose’s kits would be joining the apprentice den soon, they were nearly six moons old and she hoped that it would help with the empty feeling of the large den.

Dawnpaw reached camp, life was just barely getting started for SunClan but the first cat she spotted was Thornpelt. He stood outside the warrior’s den speaking with Applespots, Sandfoot and Bramblepelt. When Dawnpaw saw her mentor, she grew slightly tense with images flashing in her mind of her recent nightmares of the tabby warrior.

As if he sensed her arrival, Thornpelt turned his head to look at Dawnpaw. Fur rose along her spine, but she forced herself to calm down. Dawnpaw had no idea why she felt this way about her mentor. I kind of do. Dawnpaw’s told herself silently but shook away the thoughts, she wanted to trust her mentor, she had to trust him. Thornpelt bid farewell to the three cats he was talking to and turned to Dawnpaw.

She headed towards him and met him in the center of camp, she looked up at him, feeling smaller than normal. “We’re going battle training today.” He said, his voice stern.

“In the rain?” She looked around, somewhat concerned. “It’s muddy.”

Thornpelt’s tail twitched in annoyance. “It won’t always be clear skies when you’re fighting an enemy. You need to learn to fight in all situations.” He didn’t wait for a response, he just headed towards the entrance of camp. Dawnpaw quickly followed, catching Lionclaw’s eye as he stepped out of the warrior’s den but didn’t have a moment to talk to him. She and Thornpelt entered the forest, which was just as wet and muddy as the journey into camp from the apprentice den.

Thornpelt pushed through the wet foliage, flicking water droplets onto Dawnpaw. She bit back a growl and bared through it. Every day that the rain fell, Dawnpaw found herself craving the warm, dry season of greenleaf. Trying to ignore the rain, Dawnpaw followed resiliently and keeping her mouth shut.

    They soon reached the training area, and the sand was thick from the rain. Thornpelt stared at it for a moment. “We won’t train here for the moment. Follow me.” Thornpelt walked past the training area into another small clearing. It had several fallen, wet leaves on the ground. Dawnpaw felt uneasy, this didn’t look like a particularly good place to train. “This will work.” Thornpelt worked then faced Dawnpaw. “When you’re fighting in the rain, it’s very easy to lose your paws. You need to work on not falling and learn how to get back up quickly if you do fall.”

    Before Dawnpaw could respond, Thornpelt attacked. His paws hit Dawnpaw directly in the shoulder and her paws slipped on the leaves, kicking up water and mud. She hit the ground, her fur making a slight splash. Thornpelt put his paw inches from Dawnpaw’s throat, causing her to nearly panic.

    “And now you’re dead.” Thornpelt growled. “I could’ve sworn I’ve taught you to be more alert than that.” He let her up and Dawnpaw shook the mud from her pelt, this time she got into a fighting stance, preparing herself for Thornpelt’s next attack. As soon as she took her stance, Thornpelt went in for the attack. She readied herself for his attack and lashed forward, trying to cut him off before he could get to her.

    However, Thornpelt veered away from her attack, and went right for her side. She could feel his paws digging into her ribs, knocking her back onto the wet ground once more. She hissed in annoyance and jumped back to her paws, slipping on the leaves in the process. While she struggled to gain her balance, Thornpelt attacked again. He knocked her legs out from under her, making her fall to the ground yet again. Dawnpaw didn’t have time to get up before he was attacking again.

    Dawnpaw rolled out of the way, but his paws landed directly on her stomach. She let out a painful  gasp of air as pain spread through her body. “I didn’t realize I was fighting a kit.” Thornpelt growled, walking away from her. Dawnpaw shakily got to her paws, already feeling the sting of his attacks. “I know it’s been awhile since we last trained but I hoped you would at least retain a little skill.” He stuck his nose in the air, turning away from Dawnpaw.

    Anger sparked inside Dawnpaw, she lashed her tail. Not my fault it’s been raining so much. Dawnpaw narrowed her eyes, Thornpelt’s back was turned and now was the perfect time to attack. She dashed forward, aiming to get on his back. However, the leaves betrayed her and Dawnpaw slid forward. Thornpelt spun around and met her with a sharp paw to the shoulder, knocking her to the side.

    “So predictable.” Thornpelt snorted. The anger inside Dawnpaw grew, she wasn’t giving up until she knocked him down. She got to her paws once more and didn’t hesitate to attack. This time, she used the leaves to her advantage and launched herself farther. Dawnpaw landed on Thornpelt’s back, a little wobbly, but managed to make the warrior lose his balance. When Thornpelt began to fall he violently jerked his body, throwing Dawnpaw off.

    She landed a few taillengths away, hitting the ground hard. She felt the pain biting at her muscles, but she quickly got back up, facing her mentor once more. “You’re pathetic, Dawnpaw.” Thornpelt spat. “If this was a real battle you’d be dead! You can’t protect the cats around you if you’re dead.” Dawnpaw dug her claws into the muddy ground. “You might as well be killing your brother yourself if you fight like this. Clearly your loved one’s lives don’t matter.”

    Anger cracked in Dawnpaw like lightning, she pictured Turtlepaw, the same way as Sunstream, bleeding and dead. How dare he say they don’t matter! Dawnpaw launched herself, colliding directly with Thornpelt. She felt his weight give out from under him and he hit the ground with a hefty gasp. For a moment, Dawnpaw couldn’t see the world around her, she just felt Thornpelt’s body underneath her paws.  Then she heard him let out a small mew of pain, and Dawnpaw instantly let go. She stepped back and realized that her claws were unsheathed, and Thornpelt was bleeding from small scratches on his forelegs. Dawnpaw let out a gasp and looked at her mentor.

    “I’m so sorry!” She apologized. “I didn’t mean to, I just--” Dawnpaw stopped herself when she saw the look in Thornpelt’s eyes. For the first time since she became his apprentice, she noticed that there was pride in his eyes.

    “Don’t apologize, Dawnpaw.” Thornpelt said, standing up and looking at his small wounds. “You fight to soft against me, you need to learn to fight harder even against your Clanmates. I’m not saying to use your claws, but you need to find that passion and anger you felt just now. You were able to knock me down with ease when you were mad at me.” Dawnpaw blinked, realizing he was right. She looked at her paws, unsure of what to think of what she just did. “You did well, Dawnpaw.” Thornpelt mewed, his voice genuine. “I’m proud of you.”

    Dawnpaw tilted her head slightly, twitching her whiskers. She didn’t know how to feel about his compliment. She had been working so hard for Thornpelt’s praise, and she finally got it. She just didn’t expect it to be like then, after her fears of Thornpelt began to haunt her mind she figured it would never happen.

    “Thank you.” Dawnpaw replied, her voice low and uncertain. Thornpelt nodded and looked over Dawnpaw. “You’re all muddy.” He mewed with a slight snort before looking away. “Clean yourself up when you get back to camp, your denmates will appreciate it.” Thornpelt turned, shaking mud from his own pelt. “I’ll see you back in camp.” With a flick of his tail, Thornpelt vanished into the trees.

    Dawnpaw stood in place for a moment, she stared at her muddy paws, extending her claws for a moment. She looked back up at the trees where Thornpelt had disappeared, she felt pride trickling into her chest. Perhaps Thornpelt wasn’t so terrifying after all, maybe she just hadn’t found a way to connect with him and now she had.

    With a rush of excitement, Dawnpaw broke into a sprint towards camp. Even the water splashing up at her while she ran felt good to her. She reached camp in only a few moments with how fast she ran. Before she entered camp she shook her pelt dry, her blood still buzzing from her training and her run.

    As she stepped into camp she immediately caught the amber gaze of Lionclaw. The golden warrior lifted his head and padded over to Dawnpaw. “You look like you had a fun time training.” He mewed, looking over her pelt.

    “It was a bit harder than usual.” Dawnpaw replied with a purr. “But I had fun doing it.” She padded farther into camp, with Lionclaw at her side.

    “Told you that you would warm up to Thornpelt.” Lionclaw nudged her. “He’s not so bad once you get to know him. We have the same claws.” He flexed his large claws, leaving claw marks in the mud. Dawnpaw watched his claws for a moment, then recalled Thornpelt’s large claws, claws that also matched Hawktalon’s.

    “Do they run in your family?” Dawnpaw questioned, looking towards the elder’s den. Lionclaw nodded.

    “Any one of mine, Goldenleaf’s or Fawnheart’s kits could have them. If any of us ever have kits.” Lionclaw didn’t look down at Dawnpaw.

    “Think you will?” Dawnpaw asked, her pelt growing hot and the air between them growing awkward.

    “Goldenleaf definitely.” Lionclaw looked towards his sister. “She loves kits, she’s always with Willownose’s kits. Fawnheart might have an issue finding a mate with that attitude issue of hers and as for me…” Lionclaw looked down at Dawnpaw with a soft gaz. “I’ll have to find the right mate first.”

    Before Dawnpaw could find the words to reply, her attention was caught by movement near the nursery. Willownose was making a quick dash towards the medicine cat den, was something wrong with her kits? Then Dawnpaw’s eyes moved to Flamekit, Heatherkit and Brackenkit who were sitting outside, looking at each other with concern in their eyes.

    “Dovetail can’t be having her kits yet, can she?” Lionclaw’s mew pulled her attention back, she glanced up at him and saw a hint of concern in his amber eyes. “It’s too early for that.” Dovetail’s body doesn’t react to pregnancy well. When she’s expecting kits she doesn’t get big enough, she gets sick and she’s in constant pain. Poppyfur’s words rang in her mind, she shuffled her paws nervously and looked at Lionclaw.

    “I’ll be back.” She mewed and quickly bounded towards the medicine cat den. Before she could reach it, Willownose and Pebblepaw were stepping outside. Pebblepaw’s jaw was filled with herbs and her eyes with fear. “What’s going on?” Dawnpaw asked, despite already knowing the answer.

    “Dovetail is having her kits.” Pebblepaw replied, her voice trembling. “And Poppyfur is out of camp.” Dawnpaw tensed, would Pebblepaw be able to handle this on her own? The small apprentice quickly followed Willownose to the nursery and Dawnpaw made sure to follow. If Poppyfur wasn’t here, she would make sure to help the best she could.

    When Dawnpaw looked inside the nursery she was taken aback by Dovetail’s appearance, she was incredibly thin for being an expecting queen, even if she was having her kits early. Her pelt was dull and her face grimacing in pain. Her claws scraped at the bracken and moss of her nest, Dovetail always seemed so peaceful and graceful, Dawnpaw had never seen her like this before.

    “Just relax, Dovetail.” Pebblepaw purred into her mother’s ear while she prepared some herbs. Dawnpaw could tell she was trying to be soothing, but she could also hear the fear in Pebblepaw’s voice.

    Dovetail weakly raised her head, her dull blue eyes shining when she saw Pebblepaw. “I’m so glad you’re here for me.” Her head fell gently back into the nest, Pebblepaw looked up at Dawnpaw, her eyes pleading for help.

    Dawnpaw looked around uncomfortable, unsure what to do. She hadn’t had anything to do with Willownose’s kitting, but stretched her mind to the last time when Dovetail gave birth. She remembered Dovetail having a stick in her mouth. Dawnpaw turned out of the nursery for just a moment and found a decent sized stick for the queen to bite down on.

    She returned and nudged the stick towards Dovetail, looking at Pebblepaw who had placed a paw on her mother’s belly. Dawnpaw sat beside Dovetail’s head watching Pebblepaw work. The silence that had filled the air was shattered with a bone-chilling shriek, Dawnpaw nearly jumped out of her fur and Pebblepaw froze with fear. Dovetail’s teeth clamped down on the stick, nearly shattering it with one bite.

    “Move out of the way, kits.” Dawnpaw and Pebblepaw both perked their heads up to see Poppyfur pushing her way into the den. She looked at Pebblepaw, then to Dawnpaw. “What are you doing here?” She questioned.

    “H-helping Pebblepaw.” Dawnpaw replied, her voice shaking.

    “I suppose you know how to help a queen kit?” The medicine cat questioned but shook her head. “If you’re in here you might as well stay and help.” Poppyfur moved down to Pebblepaw and placed her paw on the queen’s belly just as Pebblepaw had done. “You’re doing fine, Dovetail.” Poppyfur mewed, her voice steady.

    Dovetail didn’t respond, but instead let out another screech that made Dawnpaw feel that she really wasn’t fine. She shuffled her paws but stayed by Dovetail’s head as her claws ripped at the moss of her nest.

    “The first kit is coming.” Poppyfur mewed. “You can do this, Dovetail. You’ve done it before.” Dovetail’s cries grew louder, filling the air with pain and panic. “Here it is,” Poppyfur looked towards Willownose who was keeping her three kits at bay. “Willownose, get it’s blood flowing.” Willownose rushed over and picked up a small bundle of white fur stained with blood. Willownose took the kit and began licking it furiously.

    Another shriek later, and Dawnpaw heard another kit fall into the nest. “You take this one Pebblepaw.” The kit Pebblepaw had was a tiny white and gray kit, just like Pebblepaw. “I think there’s one more.” Poppyfur’s green eyes were intently focused on Dovetail. “You’re doing great, Dovetail.” The only response from the queen was another cry of pain. After a few short moments, another kit came into the world.

    “Dawnpaw.” Poppyfur grabbed Dawnpaw’s attention. “You take this one, lick its fur roughly to get it breathing.” Dawnpaw  hesitated, unsure what she was doing. “Do it! I need to get Dovetail’s bleeding to stop.

    Dawnpaw quickly reacted, moving forward and grabbing a tiny ball of gray fur. She set the kit down and began rapidly licking along its spine, roughing up it’s fur. The kit twitched and let out a weak mews, but wasn’t doing much else. Dawnpaw didn’t stop, she kept licking the kit as fast as she could. Come on little kit! She cried silently. Please start moving! Dawnpaw felt the more she licked, the less the kit moved. Dawnpaw heard a cry from another kit and looked up to see that the gray and white kit had began crying and squirming around. She looked to WIllownose, but the she-cat had stopped licking the kit and her head was low. The white kit wasn’t moving, panic gripped Dawnpaw’s heart and she returned to licking the gray kit.

    “Dawnpaw.” She heard the quiet mew of Willownose, the queen was watching her with sad eyes. “You can stop.” Her voice was hushed. “It’s dead.”

    “No!” Dawnpaw cried, refusing to believe it. She looked down at the kit, suddenly picturing Willowkit’s body. She shoved the image away and kept licking, she heard a sad sigh from Willownose.

    “I can’t stop the bleeding.” Poppyfur’s stressed mew pulled Dawnpaw back to reality, she looked up at Poppyfur and saw panic on the she-cat’s face. Pebblepaw was beside her watching in horror.

    “It’s okay, Poppyfur…” Dovetail’s mew was weak, yet calming. “You did everything you could.” Her eyes were closed, but her face peaceful. “You always have for me and my kits.” Dovetail opened her eyes slowly and looked over at Pebblepaw. “I’m so proud of you, my daughter. You’ll be a fantastic medicine cat, her eyes traveled to the single surviving kit. “Take care of this one, he’s a fighter just like you.” Dovetail turned her head to look at Willownose. “I’ve been happy to call you my denmate multiple times, Willownose. You’re a fantastic mother and I’m so thankful for all you’ve done for me” Finally, Dovetail turned to Dawnpaw, who was still frozen in fear. “Dawnpaw, thank you so much for all you’ve done for my kits. You saved Pebblepaw’s life and gave her a future and you’re a wonderful friend to Cinderpaw and Yarrowpaw. When the time comes….I want you to be the mentor of this kit.”

    Dawnpaw began trembling, she looked over Dovetail’s body and saw the massive amounts of blood in her nest, Dawnpaw could barely stand to look at it, she forced her gaze back to Dovetail’s face, but her eyes were closed and her breathing slowed until it came to a complete stop.

    The air around Dawnpaw was thick and filled with the scent of blood and fear, she felt like she was suffocating. Dawnpaw quickly ran out of the nursery, nearly missing Willownose’s kits and stopped, panting heavily.

    “Dawnpaw!” Dawnpaw heard Poppyfur’s call, but her mind shut it out. Images flashed in her mind and darkness flooded in around her. She saw the pool of blood that cost Dovetail her life, and the bodies of the two dead kits. Images of Willowkit’s death flashed in her mind once more, the sound of her coughing and the spasms of her body. Dawnpaw’s claws dug into the earth and she could hear faint mews in the distance. Her body was tense, she couldn’t move and breathing was hard. Her legs trembled and she felt stones in her belly.

    “Dawnpaw!” A sharp mew finally pulled Dawnpaw back to reality, she opened her eyes and found herself facing Poppyfur. Dawnpaw looked around and noticed that most of the Clan was looking at her well. Lionclaw looked at her with concern in his eyes, and Turtlepaw with straight up fear. “Are you alright?” Dawnpaw looked back at Poppyfur.

    “I-I think so.” Her voice cracked, Dawnpaw’s throat felt dry. “I don’t-I don’t know what happened.”

    “It’s alright, Dawnpaw.” Poppyfur mewed quietly. “Go back to my den, I’ll be there in just a moment.” Dawnpaw hesitated, but eventually listened. She turned her back on her Clanmates but looked up to see Pebblepaw, her icy blue eyes were filled with pain and grief. There was something else in her eyes too, something Dawnpaw knew all too painfully. Guilt. Dawnpaw wanted to stop and talk to her but Poppyfur beat her to it. Dawnpaw turned away, padding slowly to the medicine cat den.

    She felt as if she had just ran around the forest, her body ached and her mind was spinning. Dawnpaw reached the den and sat down, hanging her head low. She couldn’t get the image of the dead kits out of her mind, nor the blood that came from Dovetail. Dawnpaw jumped when Poppyfur stepped into the den with Pebblepaw at her side.

    The apprentice’s head was low, she sat down in a nest and didn’t speak or make eye contact. “I’m sorry you had to be there for that, Dawnpaw.” Poppyfur mewed quietly. “I should’ve made you leave.”

    Dawnpaw looked up in confusion. “I was there to help.”

    “You didn’t need to see that, neither of you did.” Poppyfur’s voice was sad. “I know it’s Pebblepaw’s duty but you had no reason to be there, I could’ve managed without you. I should’ve told you to leave when Willowkit died as well.”

    “What?” Dawnpaw replied, tensing at the mention of her sister. “Why do you say that?”

    “You were just a kit, you didn’t need to lay by your sister as she died, it was incredibly traumatizing. I see that it’s taken a serious effect on you now, sending you in panic attacks. I’m sorry, Dawnpaw.” Poppyfur’s head was low, but after a moment she stood up and came back with some poppy seeds. “Take these, you need to rest. Both of you.” Poppyfur handed some some to Pebblepaw and some to Dawnpaw.

    Dawnpaw hesitated but watched as Pebblepaw licked up the seeds then curled up into her nest, Dawnpaw looked back at her own poppy seeds. She licked them up as well then rested in the nest. She closed her eyes, and was soon taken in by sleep.

    When Dawnpaw woke up, the sun was still shining outside. She lifted her head, feeling like she had slept much longer than that. She blinked heavy sleep out of her eyes and looked at Pebblepaw who was still sleeping, then at Poppyfur who had some leaves. “Did we sleep through the night?” She questioned.

    “Yes.” Poppyfur replied.

    Dawnpaw tensed. “Did we miss Dovetail and the kits’ vigil?” She asked in a panic.

    “Yes, but it’s fine. I know Dovetail would understand. You two needed your rest, and the rest of the Clan understands as well.” Poppyfur replied.

    “How is the kit?” She questioned, remembering the gray and white kit that survived, did he make it through the night.

    “He’s alive.” Poppyfur replied. “Rockfur named him Cloudkit, and WIllownose is going to take care of him. This is borage, it will help her produce more milk for him.”

    “Do the other kits have names?” Dawnpaw asked, wondering if the dead kits were named.

    “Blizzardkit and Sootkit, both she-cats.” Poppyfur replied. “They’re with Breezekit and Owlkit now.” At Dawnpaw’s confusion, Poppyfur added: “Dovetail’s first two kits.”

    Dawnpaw looked at her paws, her heart aching for the lost kits. Now Cloudkit would be growing up without his littermates and his mother. Then Dawnpaw tried to cheer herself up, he may not have his littermates but he still had siblings and his father was still here. I want you to be his mentor. Dovetail’s dying words rang in Dawnpaw’s mind, she wondered if that would actually happen, there was still a long time before that happened however.

    “I’m going to go give these herbs to Willownose.” Poppyfur replied. “You can leave whenever you feel you’re up to it.” The medicine cat gave looked at Pebblepaw, then left the den. As soon as the medicine cat was gone, Pebblepaw stirred. She lifted her head and looked around sleepily.

    “Did we sleep all night?” She questioned.

    Dawnpaw nodded. “We missed the vigil too.”

    Pebblepaw shrugged and looked away. “I don’t think my mother could be any more disappointed in me, I let her and my two sisters die. I don’t even want to show my face to my littermates or father. I’m a failure.”

    “You can’t blame yourself, Pebblepaw.” Dawnpaw said, her voice a lot more stern than she intended. Pebblepaw looked at her with alarm in her eyes. “It’s not your fault that Dovetail died, she shouldn’t have had kits in the first place. The kits were born too early, you did everything you could and Dovetail knows that. So do all your siblings, and Cloudkit is alive. Doesn’t that matter?” Pebblepaw looked away, pain filling her eyes. “I know what you’re going through. I blame myself every day for Willowkit’s death, and seeing those kits die…” Her voice broke off, not wanting to slip into a panic again.

    “Is that why you were so upset?” Pebblepaw asked, her voice quiet.

    Dawnpaw nodded. “It also happened when Sunstream died.” She sighed. “But my point is, Pebblepaw.” She looked back towards the medicine cat apprentice. “You can’t forever blame yourself for the death of Dovetail, you’re a wonderful medicine cat and she said it herself; she’s so proud of you.”

    Pebblepaw looked at her, a hint of softness in her eyes. She gave a small nod and looked back at her paws. “Thank you, Dawnpaw. “

    “Poppyfur is proud of you too.” Dawnpaw replied. “She really cares about you, I can see it.”

    Pebblepaw’s voice sounded lifted. “I want to make her proud, she’s a wonderful mentor.”